||[12 Dec 2007|04:15pm]
YES im so happy these are coming back!!
. Spell your name as it sounds:
2. Are you available?
yes for tea
3. What's your favorite number?
hm 51, 6
4. Favorite color(s)?
purple, pink, blue, green
5. Least Favorite color?
6. What are you listening to?
7. Are you happy with your life right now?
yeah its aight
8. What are you doing right now?
this sruvey then going to stats
9. Favorite smell?
10. How do you make money?
being a bitch
11. Are you outgoing?
12. Do you like Big Mac's?
never had one.. i know im weird
13. Do you own big sunglasses?
14. Where do you wish you were right now?
somewhere really fun
1. Did you ever want to be a doctor?
yes i used to put pins in my dolls...
2. Did you ever receive an engagement ring?
no just ring pops
3. Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?
1. Do you believe in God?
I dont know
2. Do you know how to swim?
3. Do you like roller coasters?
Yes.. i wish i was on one
1. Does your car get good gas mileage?
shit i hate driving
2. Does your family have family picnics?
nope never we are too cool
3. Does your home have a bookcase?
1. Have you ever been to Canada?
2. Have you ever gone fishing?
i think like once when i was like 5 and i caught a dinky little fish and everyone else caught really awesome ones.. i never went again
3. Have you ever seen a celebrity?
yes i must say i always get really excited
4. Have you ever been on a motorcycle?
no but i went on a 4 wheeler
1. How much money do you have on you right now?
probs less than 20 im poor
2. How many cars have you owned?
3. how many jobs have you had?
4. How tall are you?
1. Last person you hung out with?
chris, brett, eric shari
2. Last thing you said out loud?
im so sleepy
3. Last person you were in a car with?
im pretty sure mindy.. its been a while
4. Last time you ate at McDonalds?
its been a while.. too long if you ask me.. i think at umass lowell oh wait that was wendys damn i dont even know
5. Last thing you had for dinner?
last night fish and onion rings yums
6. Last thing you bought?
1. What is the temperature outside?
2. What time did you wake up?
1. Do you have a best friend?
a few that i can call that
2. Does your crush like you back?
i dont know
41. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
42. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
i doubt it i love sleep
45. What goes best with a soft drink?
46. What did you do two nights ago?
i dont know ive been sick so prob slept
47. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
48. Where do you keep your money?
49. When is your next party?
soon as possible
50. What did you do today?
took a test, went to class, ate
51. What was the weather like on your birthday?
52. Would you make out with anyone on your top friends list?
i dont have a top friends list but if i did yes all of them
53. Where were you at 3:02 AM this morning?
sleepy in my bed
59. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
im so tired
61. What are your plans for this weekend?
get drunk, go home, get presents , pack
4. Coke or Pepsi?
66. What do you dislike at the moment?
being sick and stats and finals
67 What did you dream last night?
i dont remember
68. What's the last TV show you watched?
i dont know idont watch Tv much here
69. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
does sunglasses county
70. Name 1 person onour Top Friends who is the most like you?
out of my bff's ??? no one im an individual bitch
71. Do you always lock your bedroom door?
72. Are you on any medication?
73. Have you ever cut your own hair?
74. What is your favorite frozen treat?
ice cream der
75. How many piercings/tattoos do you have?
none, im a loser
76. Where's your favorite place to be?
anywhere as long as im having fun
77. Is there someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?
yes my boo's
78. When was the last text you sent?
79. Do you care what people think about you?
81. Last new person you met?
ohh i dont know someone at westfield
82. Did you work today?
83. Have you ever moshed?
yes im a moshing machine
87. What do you smell like right now?
89. Do you like ketchup?
90. What do you tell yourself when times get hard?
91. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
92. What color is your pillow case?
94. Who was the last persons stomach you saw?
96. Have you ever been to California/Chicago?
97. What is the thing that you would most like to change about you?
99. What celebrities do people say you look like?
100. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but don't?
yeah really bad
101. Are you a jealous person?
i wnt to say no but i am
||[25 Nov 2007|12:47am]
Its been a while since I've written in here, but i need to vent. My life has completely come to a point where I feel stuck.; a rut more or less. Everything in my life lately has left me dissapointed and not satisfied. Coming home for thanksgiving has just furthered these feelings. I dont know what is going on, but I feel so distant from my old life (old self). At school I have been feeling this way for quite a while and I wasnt sure what was going on, but home just assured me it was not home sickness I have been feeling. In fact, I have no clue what it is im feeling. This summer fucked me in the aspect that I became accustomed to hanging out and being in the company of adults. Adults who were sure of thier lives and knew what they wanted to "be." I became used of the maturity and the routine. Now, I find myself not wanting to get involved with the silly frat parties and ragers that I loved soooo much last year. I find myself not wanting to go out and have a good time with my old friends. I just find myself feeling very much alone. It's as though I have lost a big part of my youth and nothing has replaced it and im just walking around with an emptiness that I cant figure out how to fill. I miss the summer, I miss being confident. I just dont understand what is it I need to do. I'm stuck and its killing me. I miss having boys in my life. Another aspect this summer fucked me on. I saw what older men can treat girls like, and it made me absolutely disgusted with college boys. Also, i managed to get stuck living with the scum of all scumbag dudes. And everything just feels lost and uncertain. I want to be my happy self. I know im growing up, I know im changing. I can feel myself losing friends, and in a way Im ok with it because theres no going back now. Hopefully this summer I will be living in Boston surrounding myself with new faces... hopefully. I dont think I can successfully live here, or I may go nuts. Well tata for now, hopefully the next entry will be more pleasant.
||[03 Oct 2007|03:53pm]
Hm. So much has changed since i have last written in here. I worked at the Liberty this summer. It was a wonderful experience. I never would have expected to be as successful and make the impression I did. It has given hope in my future endeavers as a business person. My favorite memory from the Liberyt by far was the opening day pep rally. I had felt a job complete and couldnt have been more overjoyed with the final product. But i did miss miss youth. I felt as though i was in my thirties already.
This year at school so far has been nothing but lovely. Where I live is such a nicer enviroment than last year. I feel as though I can be myself and people will accept me here and i do not need to put on any type of act. For the first time in my life aside from my ongoing problem with weight, I feel comfortable in my own skin. I can feel myself changing and trying to become a "better" person. Perhaps better is not the correct word, maybe happier. This summer did a number on my confidence in nothing but positive ways. I was not expecting that at all. School is going to be extremely challeneging and I can feel myself growing apart from people I still cannot let go of. But that is life. College is about finding who you are and I never thought like that last year, but this year I am putting in such an effort to grow and change for the better. I just hope everyone around me will be willing to accept who I am trying to become.
Overall, I am very happy with that way things are going so far (knock on wood). My hopes for sophmore year is that i venture on some trips. I already have a few in mind, canada, nyc, jamaica, hopefully others, but money is tight still despite my tireless hours of working this summer. Anywho, I should probally get back to history. Nothing like reading about the new deal.
||[11 Jun 2007|12:46am]
ok well i cant sleep.
Ive been planning this birthday celebration and invited like 100 people.. way way to many. Far to many to fit in my basement/ backyard or jacs backyard. I made a deal with the parentals I can do t his thing if everyone just passes out here, i dont know i dont think its a big deal im just nervous some fuckheads are gona drive and die and it will be my fualt. But all this birthday shannigans has had me thinking about this past year. Id have to say this year was one of those years. One of those years ill look back and be like i fucking wish i was 18 again. But not only was it a great year it was a major turning point in my life. I learned how to be me and take care of myself. I know that souns selfish but you have to be selfish to survive and live. I learned how to force myself to study, go to the gym, make friends, resolve situations. I learned the difference between true friendship and fake. I learned what to eat so i wouildnt gain 20 pounds. I learned a lot about guys. I had sex for the first time and i really never thought that would happen. And mainly i just learned how to live independently. I wish in 20 yrs when hopefully livejournal is still up, i can read this and my life has just gotten so amazing, but i feel like it probally wont abd this year is gona be a highlight.
I pretty much have wrtieen along these lines every year but i want to remmeber this year, it was such a important year. I especially hope I am still in contact with these people
Jenn..... i met her this year. She's probally going to become my best friend possibly for ever. We are the same person. and school would have sucked if i never met her
My umassers particularly Anna, amanda,eefa,amy- study, party,chill,eat,workout. You guys were seriously the best thing i could have ever found at umass
Corner room- If me and nancy could live in a 2 x 4 room and not kill eachother well, that was an acheivement all in intself.
Timmy...showed me that not all boys are scum of the earth. We never got the chance to have a long lasting relationship or fall in love but he was a good kid and treated me good, I forgot what that was like :).
home gals... (esppp. Shanjocelynashleyjennacarakaitlyn) Always there no matta what
danielle...we have our ups and downs but sisters forever.
jac...no words needed.. but my bestest always cant wait for next year at the zooo
||[09 Jun 2007|09:16pm]
hmm. Really the onyl reason i write this in there is so I can read this in like ten years and be like hahah my life. Well it appears my life is the butt end of a joke. i get hired for a job in March to start june 1st, then it magically disspaears. oh gooodnesssssss, but summer has been ok. Life is good, but it does have a mean sense of humor sometimes
|i dont know su
||[28 May 2007|01:19am]
Hm summer is my beat. It's agreeing with me quite nicely. To go back, this year was probally one of the best years of my life. College has really brought me so many things. I miss it alot. I really feel sorry for people who dont get to expereience college. But summer really hasnt been bad for me so far. Granted its only been a week and i havent really done anything, its been relaxing. Ive been re-connecting with lots of old friends this summer. Last night just hung with some of the girls and drank some wine. Fri went to boston partied with some friends. Just been chillen otherwise. I hope me and jacqui are able to become friends again, i feel like we have faded a lot. But my friends who are in college are glorious. Its like no time has passed between us. My intership situation is really stressing me out, i called last monday and still no work back from them. I dont really understand why they havent responded to my Three messages. But im hoping everything will work out. Anyways, i really need to start planning my trip to jersey and NYC to visit school friends. Im thinking the weekend after the july 4th to go to jersey, anyone want to come? Anyone way i feel like i left my freshman year at the perfect time. If it was 2 weeks ago i would have never wanted to leave. I had a boy, i had no work, i had fun. But the last couple weeks were stressful with the whole finals thing. Me and tom Stopped speaking which was probally for the better. Weather was too nice to be inside studying. And i missed my dog severely. Oh and also im going to get a Mass Id that says im 21, but its not a liscencse so hopefully it will still work. Hopefuly will not be a waste of 70bucks. But anyways life is good, and im not complaining about anything. I really want to just hang out with more people i havent seen in a while, nothing like chillen opening a beer and talking about the good old days :).
||[10 May 2007|07:15pm]
Kirsten Solomon= Worst luck ever. i dont want to expand on that. My life is so emmbarrasing. Ohwell
||[05 Apr 2007|06:46pm]
Well i havent really updated in a long ass time. But yeah life is good. Freshman year is almost over and thats pretty weird. Like sophmore year, then after that im half way done through college and after that is life. Well I landed a pretty sweet internship over the summer at this hotel in boston. im really pumped about it. But anyways, I've decided that i need to work on not being an awkward person.
by this time next year theres some things i could like to accomplish, I'd like to not talk as much shit as i do...Its a really bad thing to do. Id like to be 10-20 pounds thinner... so then i could be a little more confident. I'd like my grades to rise a little bit. I'd like to have a good boyfriend by then.. because no one has really stuck out to me in the past months, its been depressing. And probally some other things but i cant really think of them...well im going to see taking back sunday tonight for like the 7th time... im such a loser. So i gotta go drink some wine.